Never Change, John Lackey

lol (Photo Credit: Kansas City Star)

After the Orioles' second consecutive blow out of the St. Louis Cardinals, starting pitcher John Lackey was asked about Caleb Joseph's second inning home run.  It was Joseph's fifth home run in as many games, tying the record for an Orioles' catcher.  John lackey responded by calling it a "Baltimore home run" (as of late,
he is pretty familiar with this concept), meaning he doesn't think the ball should have left the yard.  By the way, this is not the first time Lackey has had an issue with a home run hit off him by an Oriole.

This got me thinking: exactly how many ballparks would this ball have left based on distance alone?  For the record, the ball went 383 feet.  For those who have never seen this ESPN Home Run Tracker before, the red line is the location of the outfield wall of each park. We'll start with Camden Yards:

Obviously the ball went out here, or else we wouldn't even be talking about this.  Jon Jay was close to bringing it back, but he didn't.  Three runs for the O's!

That's pretty clearly over the wall, and at Citi Field, the wall is tall, so the outfielder would have had no shot to rob it.  So, John, you might not wanna let it happen again next time you pitch against the Mets.  Actually, now that I think about it, you probably won't have to worry. 

Can you believe the Brewers give the hitters such a break here?!  Could you imagine if Ryan Braun took Lackey deep to this spot?  He would have a stroke.

Looks like the ball would progess over the wall in Cleveland.  

Hey John! John!  This is where you used to pitch, and the ball would have cleared the wall, and then some!  Oh, and you forgot to mention how balls that would be flyouts in LITERALLY ANY OTHER PARK turn into singles and doubles because of that giant wall in left.  We call those "Boston singles and doubles." Last to first to Last.  Good times.

This one would be incredibly close.  Looks like the ball would bounce out off the top of the wall or get robbed.  But, considering Bryce Harper is out there, he'll just run into the wall.

I bet John Lackey would have loved to play back in the 40's.  Nelson Cruz wasn't around, the game was played right (so they claim), and Caleb Joseph's home run wouldn't leave the park.  What's that? It would have been a homer in Wrigley?  Man, John just can't catch a break, no matter the decade.

Somehow, the ball would have powered its way through all the sewage and "Manny Machado is the Devil!" signs to find it's way over the fence in Oakland. 

luck /lək/ noun: success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions

Would Puig catch this ball?  Probably.  But he'd then do 3 somersaults in celebration, allowing the two runners to tag up and score.  

This one is a little questionable because left center in Houston looks like this, but it is probably a double off the wall at the very least.  What are your feelings on that, John?

 And last but not least, we have Seattle.  Home of the best pitching in the game, and congruently the most frustrating offense in the game.  This would likely be one of 3 hits given up by the Mariners, resulting in a 3-1 loss.

There we have it, the ball could have left 11 other parks, and that's not including Coors Field, which might as well be in space, and Rogers Center, where pop outs carry farther than Celine Dion can carry a tune.  

So John, maybe next time, think before you speak and realize that, 1. You're going to give up home runs to the Orioles.  It's just the way of things. and, 2. You won't have so many cuts on your lip if you would close your mouth every now and then.

--Pat Maher, @warehousepat